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Sing Me An Inappropriate Song


As Logan's 13th birthday draws near, I start to think back when he was little. How I have changed so much over the years. The moment when you are close to losing your child puts life in a different perspective. My outlook on parenting changed. I, myself, grew up in a family full of sass and sarcasm. We were at the height of our inappropriateness in awkward or stressful situations. 

The hardest thing I have ever had to admit was that Logan almost died. That statement fills me with dread as goosebumps race over my skin. And as he laid there in that hospital crib, fighting for each breath, I began to sing to him. It wasn't one of our usual lullaby's. It was filled with humor and silliness. After being in the hospital for so long, you start to go a little crazy. I sang about his glow toe (oxygen/pulse), the nurse that smelled like bologna but was sweet as could be, the attending that had a hair piece and it always laid to the right.

Each humorous verse brought Logan to life. Well, so did prayer but I'd like to believe that his mommy's silliness helped him along. Logan would smile and giggle with each song. Trying not to disturb the wires and tubes, I would gently tickle the bottom of his feet and under his arms.

Day by day, my sweet boy grew peach in color. He drank his bottle like a champ but even after a few ounces was completely wiped out. Though my heart crumbled in my chest, I kept up the silly songs and inappropriateness. I figured, he didn't understand half of what I was saying. Especially about the old women who frequented the children's hospital with lavender hair and crochet purses. They brought stuffed animals that smelled of Bengay.

After Logan was well enough to return home, I heard a familiar hum coming from his baby monitor during his afternoon nap. In his sleep, Logan was humming the melody that I attached to each silly song. I think I cried for an hour after hearing that.

I believe our humor helped us get through those tough times, also when he was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum, wit was our guide. 

Logan's sarcasm and comedic timing makes us laugh daily. His positive and funny outlook on life makes me feel as if we are doing something right. If you can't laugh at spilled chocolate milk or dropped tooth brushes in the toilet, then you are in for a long journey. 

Logan puts the fun in dysfunctional. 

Oh, and even today, Logan will hum that melody when he is having an emotional day. When I wrap my arms around him, we hum it together. Sometimes I add silly words, sometimes I don't but every time he laughs and pats my back and says, "You're awesome, mom."
And then usually farts.

Yup, that's my boy!